Wish you were more confident in your day-to-day life? Tired of your negative thoughts being in charge? Ready to step into your most confident self? Here are my top confidence hacks for boosting your self-esteem!
Introduction
Wish you were more confident in your day-to-day life? Sometimes it’s easy to let our self-doubt and fears take over our thoughts. Little by little, our confidence fades. Though, if we want to live our most courageous and empowered lives, it’s important to take care of our self-esteem and ensure we intentionally build our confidence.
Here are my top 5 confidence-building hacks rooted in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), also known as the basic language of the mind. By following through on any of the following tips, you’ll find yourself standing taller, speaking kinder to yourself, and going after your ambitious goals!
1. Change your physiology
Did you know that your posture can change your mood? In NLP, one of the foundational concepts covered is that our physical state can actually change our mood. Whether that’s our posture or hand gestures, the way that we hold our bodies influences how we actually feel.
For example, let’s try a short activity.
Start by slouching your body and looking down to the ground at your feet. After a few moments, notice how that feels.
Next, stand up tall. Pull your shoulders back, and put your arms on your waist, Wonder Woman style. Look up to the sky. How does that feel instead?
Our mind is so incredible in that the way that we hold ourselves can affect how we feel. Depending on the posture we choose, signals get sent to our brain to change our mood.
It’s the exact same idea as if you were to start smiling right now. Even if it were a fake smile, it can trick the brain into actually feeling better, happier.
Isn’t that amazing? You can use this to your advantage whenever you need a little confidence boost. For instance, if you’re about to do a presentation, stand tall as Wonder Woman would, and put a big smile on your face. Your mind will then jump in and give you that confidence boost you need. You’ll crush it!
Want to learn more?
- Check out this video by Amy Cuddy, who describes power poses and how you can use them to gain confidence instantly.
2. Create an alter ego
One technique that has helped me personally is creating an alter ego for myself. If you’re ever trying something for the first time, or are feeling nervous about doing something, you can channel your alter ego to overcome it.
An alter ego is essentially a secret identity or a different version of yourself. The alter ego might be a version of you in the future.
Here’s how to create your alter ego:
- Imagine an amazing, confident, courageous person
- Paint a picture in your mind of how this person speaks, composes themself, the thoughts they think, and how they tackle all kinds of scenarios
- See that person in your mind. Hear them. Feel them.
- Then step into that identity – become that person.
You can even name this alter ego and know that you can channel them anytime you need an extra boost of confidence!
My alter ego is named “Jewel” and I picture a powerful, bold, ambitious woman ready to take on the world. By simply thinking of Jewel, my shoulders instantly straighten and I feel like I’m ready to kick-butt!
Try it for yourself! The more you create this identity and channel it, the more you’ll realize… “this person has been within me all along!”
3. Stay in your lane
Comparison is one of the most toxic things that can keep us from being our most confident, authentic selves.
One of the things I learned from my coach is the saying: “Create over consume”. This simply means spending more time creating beautiful things of your own, instead of drowning in the consumption of other people’s creations.
When you catch yourself feeling negative about your life, or not feeling good enough, or comparing yourself with peers on social media…it’s time to take a few steps back. Consider if you’ve spent more time diving into the lives of others instead of leading with your own. If this means doing a social media detox or limiting the hours you spend online, try it out.
Remember, you can stay in your own lane. There is no standard you need to hit or there is no race to compete in. Rather, you can focus on your life and living it to the fullest. On your own terms.
So turn down the consumption, stop comparing with others, and start focusing on creating a life that you love.
4. Reframe negative self-talk
Do you often notice negative thoughts come up when you want to try something new or scary? Or perhaps when you’re imagining a big goal but worried about how you’ll actually get there?
Reframing negative self-talk repeatedly over time can help you build more confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Here’s how to reframe negative thoughts:
- Start by paying attention and noticing when thoughts arise
- Accept the thought, then reframe it into a more positive one
- Repeat the positive thoughts until it becomes a belief about yourself
- As other negative thoughts arise, keep reframing!
You can start small by noticing your thoughts, and slowly you can build habits around reframing thoughts into positive ones.
5. Use words of affirmation
One of the common techniques you might have heard of is using words of affirmation to boost confidence. Essentially, you can use the power of language to positively influence your thoughts, beliefs, and thus your actions.
To get started, you can write down several affirmations or statements that elicit positive feelings within you. It can be a list, or maybe you choose a few that really resonate with you and make you feel good.
From there, you can repeat these to yourself as often as needed, but especially when you’re needing to boost your self-esteem. I personally love writing these on sticky notes on my mirror, and reading them first thing in the morning as I start my day.
Other things I love to do include writing letters of affirmation to myself when I need a little extra self-love. I write down all the kind, loving words that I need to hear at that moment. Reading it back to myself afterward is reassuring, uplifting, and a beautiful reminder that I have everything I need within me.
Remember, the end goal with using words of affirmation is to feel encouraged, supported, loved, and ultimately, more confident in yourself. Remind yourself just how wonderful you are. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Conclusion
We can often get stuck in the hamster wheel of feeling “not-good-enough” and lack the confidence to go after all the things we dream of.
With any of the above techniques, you can take steps forward in creating the most confident version of yourself. The one who courageously follows their dreams despite the fear, and continues to create the life they absolutely adore.
You have all the confidence already within you – it’s only a matter of eliciting it. One little action at a time!
Which confidence building hack will you try next?
Leave a comment below!
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